• :x About 4 Love :x

  • How did we meet?


        We met like every other gay cpl in the world on a hook-up dating app. Aaron purchased a membership to Grindr which is based off location. This showed guys farther than 20 miles of him. He started a simple chat with me. Hey, how you doing? and all that great stuff. Shortly after we started chatting,  kink entered the conversation. Considering we both had experience with these types of apps, we both knew a lot of time can been wasted with flakes. There was no reason to beat around the bush. We expressed our most extreme kinks the first day of chatting. Because we were in our late 20’s and experienced enough to know what we wanted, but just was never able to find others with kinks that match up. So we tackled even more kinks that first night…. Fucking


    Aaron drove 45 mins to my house without knowing if he was being catfished, set-up or shot.  Aaron was a bit kinkier than I and he had a good amount of experience with feet, water-sports and bondage. I on the other hand have mostly dealt with vanilla monogamist relationships. It was only a week prior that I first played any WS. Regardless,  Aaron allowed me to restrain him down that night and although hesitant also let me fuck him raw.


    The kink that really did it for us was WORSHIP. My understanding is that any guy wants every inch of his body licked and sucked, not to mention for hours. I truly didn’t think that there were really ppl that “give head for hours” but he was the first to leave my dick in his mouth for legit HOURS. Although no Dom/sub stuff was talked about in the beginning, it was already seeping in without our knowledge.


    Are we a cpl?


    From day one there was an understanding of an NSA relationship. I was busy doing the whole dad thing and he was just graduating college. We legit was just playing it causal. Being able to express our kinks without judgment gave way to a great friendship. . We aren't very extreme in a lot of ways. Ex: Worship is our number one go-to kink to have a good time. As time passed, we tried different kinks on the road of exploration of ourselves and each other.


    He was a twink with a sweet ass and I was a hot guy that let him worship his feet. After a while the Dom/sub dynamic found its way in. It was perfection for a while but then it became clear that there were some things that didn’t click. I tend to favor mental kink and he is more comfortable with physical kink. It was a big difference especially to novice growing kink dynamic. I am bisexual and more interested in poly relationships and Aaron wants his gay domination and to be left alone.  


    I can imagine that over time the intimacy that comes from taking control of your kinks and the ability to share them with others will eventually bring us closer together. Passed all the social stigmas and cognitive dissonance involved with this extreme kink. Although different we had one thing that tied everything together. It indirectly showed us that there are others just as fucked up as ourselves. That fear of all your deepest fucked up thoughts can be expressed safely and with consent.  No one is perfect so taking that imperfection and owning it is a very rewarding achievement. Short answer we love each other for reasons that many would not understand. We are friends, lovers, kinksters and advocators of healthy expression.


    Why did we start 4loveofkink?


        A revolution of kink for the vanilla word without extreme circumstance that BDSM portrays. Kink is for everyone no matter how mild or wild. No leather suits or fancy equipment and we truly are not even that extreme.  Just two ‘Normal” ppl exploring everything life has to offer even within its darkest parts. I for one hand wanted memorabilia of my kinky side so we started making videos/camming to explore all kinks and to see what else we could learn from ourselves.  


    4loveofkink was first thought about as a message board for kinksters, a sort of outreach to others like ourselves. A mix between tumblr and fetlife. A place for education, understanding and kinky porn ;) We figured sharing our growing dynamic could help with the hard struggles of others looking for the same type of outlet.  Nobody is perfect... taking those imperfections and owning it, takes back their control/power over you. Ultimately you have no hang-ups and can be all of yourself without your subconscious or society saying thats its wrong



    Kink is a universal power that lies in the hands of people that are not afraid to explore them. So you may not like most all kinks but there is one somewhere out there that can bring your whole world full circle (good and bad).You can take control of these kinky feelings, and with consent, can give rise to power that usually is only to be dreamed of..  It demands you to understand your mind, body and spirit plus thoughts of others. Which is not so easily done. Trust, patience and persistence; things missing in this instant gratification world that we live in today. If you want something amazing, it's only worth it if there is a ton of work to get you there.



    If you would like to contact us, click on the Connect button above where you will find our contact form and social media links.medium_27.jpg.d28ebc98e275cbcd80a5a428f39bd95f.jpg

    More about Trevor

    More About Aaron

  • Aaron.jpg

  • Our Blogs

  • Blog Entries

    • By Trevor in Our Stuff
      Let Everyone Watch
      4love goes to Pride of Detroit 2018 and definitely a weekend to remember. Not only was it Aaron's & I first time attending but also first time doing public kink play. At the fountain in the middle of Heart Plaza Aaron worshiped my feet. I ask some random guy in high heels to capture all the magic  Sry not the greatest quality picture but still awesome. 


    • By Trevor in Trevor's Trove
      If you are even considering Kink please do some research. The easiest  place to start is with a podcast. It will give you a little feel for what is to come. It shows that kink is truly for everybody. These are normal-ish people that except everyone no matter what their specific kinks are.
      Top Websites
      These are “Mega” sites. So much information for newbies and oldies that didn’t know. Tons of people with similar interests. Want a intense crash course on Kink? Regardless of the answer, don’t forget to keep theses saved!

      Don't be a Dummy
      Thought the title was funny. Extensive glossary and nice getting-started articles. I appreciated the advice giving to budding submissives and warnings signs of a ABUSER. Safety is #1
      Munches are local meet-ups within the community. These are very useful for people that don’t believe there are others interested. They are held at !public! restaurants or community centers. There are no crazy outfits, no propositions and no reason to give your real name. Kinks are closer than you think.  *Fetlife is also an legit and awesome munch finder*


      If your looking for free raunchy porn without the viruses and invaluable information…. It’s right here!!! Make a free profile and repost all you want . Search internet browser for your kink with tumblr in the title.  This was where my BDSM adventure began and it will always be in my back pocket. Super secret, super kinky and many internet blogs also have a tumblr version.
      The Book
      Love this book! Although it is very thick (haha) with lots of statistics, anthropology and neurology. It explains what happens in our head and how our brain is built to process it. Great read! Understand the different ways of thinking between girls and guys.  If anything else then cliff notes it and get the gist. It might persuade you to read it!

      Dating websites
      If you wanna find a date then apps have taken over. Many are by location or question and answer based then a computer matches.  Do you wanna be kinky? will most likely not be asked. A lot of online kink matching costs. Apps are dangerous and a long rough time finding a match but at they will be close. I would just put “I’m kinda kinky” somewhere on your profile. Safety is KEY…. I can’t express that enough. Crazy people will use “kink” as an excuse to be sociopaths.  Be patient, be smart and have fun.
      Safety, Safety !Safety!

      Message boards
      So many experiences in such a little space. If your really wanna do research and find almost exactly what you need. Ha. It could take a while but it will definitely be worth it. Whether you wanna come up the kink closet or just curious. Message boards are vital for your expression of kink. Probably worth mentioning that if you think you can bring something new to kink, think again. It’s all been done and perfected for years  Sry.

      Always a great idea. Make one yourself or keep a journal about your experiences. This will help to keep your mind in order so things don’t get out of hand without knowing it. People can make some top notch blogs about their D/s relationships.
      Keep in mind these are usually one couple and kink is whatever you want it to be, with consent. I’ll most likely never care for masks or wearing black leather. Limits/preferences need to be established before and must be honored to build trust. Baby steps my fellow kinksters. No use rushing, just sit back and enjoy the ride.
      Dominate Blogs:
      Submissive Blogs:
    • By Trevor in Trevor's Trove
      Hello my name is Trevor and love the behavioral sciences, more importantly psychology. Biology, anthropology, sociology or anything that can help me make sense of why we think or do the things we do. Where do personalities come from? How do I control my own or make sense of it? Would everyone be better off if we could just understand ourselves. At the top of the list is sex, at least for me. What makes it tick? How does it relate to personalities or quality of life? Is it better to know or not to know? It is truly amazing how much of the brain the human race has not figured out yet. I have many questions without real answer. I know that psy will always be my #1 love but now I want to have sex with it hahaha. I’m a new inspiring Dom and want to express myself using my dark side. I’d like to paint an unusual but familiar picture with the brush stroke my cock.
      Whilst in college studying PSY, I had my first seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy. I imagine from poor eating habits and ridiculous amounts of stress. A year later my daughter was born and I dropped out. I worried about stuff I have very little control over, like the people I want to help but can’t. Caring drives me crazy because just a few words of wisdom could likely keep someone from a lifetime worth of pain.
      I’m now single father with a very large tight knit family. I still tend to care a little too much in my daily life and usually put loved ones before myself. I believe that creation is beautiful and destruction is necessary. I think about life as Yin and Yang. At our core we are both equally good and evil, right and wrong but always a silver lining or something to lose.  Balance is key! I take care of myself so that I can be there when someone is in need. Otherwise we are both screwed.
      Linier Spectrums seems to be the way my mind works . No one is all gay or only straight, all man or girl, Completely dominate or only submissive. We all lie on linier spectrums. Some lie farther than the others but without one you can not have the other. Night/day, love/hate and life/death. I’d advise to play devil’s advocate with everything in life and not to be ignorant from the truth of duality.  
  • Blogs

    1. Aaron
      Latest Entry

      "Alone. Yes, that's the key word. The most awful word in the english tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym."-Stephen King

      It's easy to feel alone in the world, misunderstood, unloved. We all must go through those long nights. We make drastic changes in our lives, often in a desperate fight to not feel lonely. Loneliness has been the curse that caused many bad decisions throughout history. It is also something that can teach and inspire us to better ourselves.

      The definition of loneliness is both subjective and objective. How you perceive the world determines how you define it. And our darkest, deepest of emotions, such as loneliness, is no exception.

      I would like to share with you a story I heard from Mary Chapin Carpenter's song "John Doe No. 24" I discovered it in the late 90's, and the story behind it starts in 1945 in Jacksonville, Illinois. A black teenager is seen roaming the streets. He is deaf and mute and seemingly all alone. When the police find him, they decide he is mentally ill and lock him away in a mental institution. He will spend the rest of his life in places like this. He once scribbled the name "Lewis". That's the only clue we have as to his name.

      The environment of mental institutions at that time was very rough. He developed some abnormal behavior as a result. They gave him many drugs, which eventually caused him to go blind. It wasn't until later in his life that people were assigned to help him. He got close to each of them, but suffered severe depression every time one of those people left him.

      "The years kept passing as they passed me around from one state ward to another. Like I was an orphan shoe from the lost and found, always missing the other."- Mary Chapin Carpenter.

      As the years went by, things improved in the mental health institutions, and John found more caregivers, and even an assisted living facility where he could live somewhat independently. He was very much loved by everyone who took care of him. Sometimes, they would bring a jazz band to play for the patients. John danced his heart out. He loved the vibrations that he could feel as the band played on. He was warm, funny and compassionate. The prejudices of the 40's and a flawed mental health system shattered many of his hopes and dreams. But he kept his spirit intact.

      "What we see, over and over again, is that there's a resiliency of the human spirit that is not going to be destroyed. It's not going to just survive, it's going to win. John is a good example of that."-Sister Bernadette Wynne. Helen Keller National Center for Deaf-Blind Youths and Adults

      In 1993, John died. He was to be buried in an unmarked grave. Luckily, Mary Chapin Carpenter not only read the obituary and wrote her song about him, but also purchased a tombstone for him. On this tombstone, is one of the lyrics from her song:

      "Life's a mystery, so too is the human heart."

      I want my first tattoo to be these words.

      After the song came out, it inspired David Bakke to find out more about this man, and he interviewed everyone he could find. His book "God knows his name: The True Story of John Doe No. 24" is among my most prized books.

      There's lots we can learn from John. We can be thankful for all the people and love that we have in our lives. We can be thankful that the world is not the same as it was in 1945. We can be thankful for the chances and freedoms that we have that John did not. But his story is not just one to teach us gratitude, it's also one to remind us that no matter how hard things get in life, we can pull through and still be that warm, compassionate person that he was. And despite whatever obstacles we face, we can make our hopes and dreams a reality. Growing within and connecting with others is what life is all about. We should not only do it for ourselves, but for those we might be able to help. We should also do it to honor all who came before us and tried, both the ones who came out the other end better off, and for those that just didn't have the strength.

      I think about him often. I tell this story to the people I know as much as I can. But the best way to hear the story, is to listen to the song: