Trevor often says that no one is completely one way or the other. No one is completely Top or Bottom, no one is completely sub or Dom. The duality of life is what keeps it interesting. We may lean one way or the other, but rarely are we 100% on one side.
I always found his statement interesting and very agreeable. But lately, his statement has been ringing more and more true. Before Trevor, I tied up and used two other guys, but they were just one night stands. I always viewed my Dom side as very small, always leaning much more on the sub side. I felt before that I was 10% Dom, 90% sub.
But change is part of life; and lately I've found that preference to change to 30% Dom and 70% sub. My desire to Dom someone has went up a great deal lately.
There are challenges on both sides. What those challenges are and the impacts of them varies on the individual. No matter which side you are on, or are switching to, you must be ready to accept challenges as they come. I don't want to think that I'm avoiding the challenges I've faced as a sub, but having some new challenges on the other side seems like it might be a breath of fresh air.
Sometimes, when you've been on one side long enough, you simply want a change. Rather or not my percentages are going to change at all, only time will tell. But I still feel that I'll always be mostly a sub.
But that's the thing, I have experienced being a sub. I know what whips, candles, drinking piss, being stood/sat on and being degraded feels like. A Dom who is man enough to be willing to take the pain he dishes out, in my opinion, makes a much better Dom than someone who is too scared or unwilling to get first hand experience on the other side. By no means do I expect to be a perfect Dom. Mistakes will be made. But I'll be going into it with a much deeper understanding of what my sub feels, and therefore, will be able to provide better guidance during the aftercare stage and train them better. When a problem arises, or if my sub should need guidance and support, it'll be far more effective being able to say "I remember when I was a sub....." VS. "The last sub I had did this......."
First hand experience is always best. And having that, I believe, will make me a better first time Dom than a Dom who's on their 2nd or 3rd sub. I feel that I might be able to give more to someone as a Dom as well. Trevor has given lots to me, so it makes sense that I would want to pass it on someday. I think I might mentally respond better to being a Dom, and I would be sensitive and caring, partly because that's part of who I am anyway, and partly because I would be able to truly put myself in my sub's shoes in many situations.
Am I right to make all of these assumptions? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. But there's only one way of finding out right?
I'm still, of course, going to be playing with Trevor. Who knows, it might be exiting being on both sides of the fence at once!
So....with all that said. I'm on the market for subs! Let's see how this all pans out...